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Get Home Cool • 2018 rpg

Marshall Bradshaw •

1 player, 1 actual MRI machine

You made first contact with Humanity, dude! Totally by accident, but it counts! Guidelines say you have to play it cool around native species, and you did. They didn't ask too many questions, you didn't give too many answers, and now you're good to hop back in your ship and get out.

You don't know much about piloting one of these (I mean, you CRASH-LANDED here), but don't let the humans know that. Just slip into your Myelin-Reactive Intercraft machine and prepare to look cool as shit for those apes watching from the other room.

1) Don't move your body much. This baby is 100% psychic-controlled (The humans are gonna have their minds BLOWN!).

2) Try to anticipate when a pattern of noises will stop and when a new one will begin (Expert pilots can even predict patterns. No worries if YOU can't yet; THEY don't need to know that!).

3) Listen for when your psychic activity begins influencing the patterns, subtly changing the sounds. That means it's working (And the humans will be SO IMPRESSED)!

4) Picture home. Getting there will be a breeze.

Enjoy the end of your first impression! 

Author Comments

The story goes, a parent is in a store with their young child, who is throwing a tantrum. The parent whispers, “Be quiet! We have to pretend we’re HUMAN!” The child knows this game and immediately calms down.

MRIs suck. Filling out the medical paperwork sucks, being called by my legal name sucks, ditching my clothes sucks, laying in that loud & claustrophobic machine sucks… And there’s a lot of design put into mitigating the anxiety around MRIs, but none of it is FUN. This game might help, creating agency for someone who’s been told to get in this machine, stay still, and keep quiet. Forget that! You are out of this world.

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