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Winner of the 200 Word RPG Contest • 2018 rpg

Dinkie Rizzle •

Participant with the lowest Lake Geneva number is The Dinkie. All others play baby balrogs and must select either Rot Grub, Donkey, or Cleric as their class. Balrogs begin with a score of 10. All dice are d12, except weapons which are all d6. Cup rolls only. To ensure the cup rule is enforced The Dinkie rolls all dice. Initiative is determined by Spin the Bottle, which includes the kissing part.

Players under 50 suffer a -1 to their score for each decade. Players disgusted by the game take a -1. Any player who vomits during the game takes -2. If the Dinkie declares a player to be attractive, that player receives a +2 to their score, but suffer a -1 each time their bottle spins to someone other than The Dinkie. Players who display exceptional knowledge of Polearms receive +4 to their score.

Play begins as the Balrogs are hatched in the carcass of a Maggot God. They must eat their way free. If players can improvise a weapon, they may attack others to prevent their escape, reducing the target's score. Balrogs whose score drops below 2 must roll a Kerfuffle.

How to Win: Impress the Dinkie.

Author Comments

If any of you knew anything about game design, you’d realize that 198 words is all you need for the perfect role playing game, as Gary intended. Your fancy Feats, Aspects and Spells don’t provide narrative framework, inspire active role playing, or enhance immersion. 200 words of ego stroking is what I call it, and Gary’d call it that too. Every time I slam my dice cup upon the table, the dust kicked up arranges itself into a better, more fun, and more coherent game than any of you kids are going to write, ever. You should all be ashamed of yourselves, and go back to your home arcade television games.

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